Canopy

Canopy by Janet Storer

Today started out just like any other Sunday. We always sleep in a little. We drink our coffee and get ourselves decent to go to our beloved Gospel Church. We arrived at church and worship began. Worship was so heartfelt and renewing this morning. I didn't anticipate that God wanted to work on big things in my heart. I began to feel like my perspective of life makes the things I do more stressful and less enjoyable. In fact, I realized that many people endure great challenges and difficult circumstances while making time for things that are important... expressing joy and gratitude for what God has done... and acknowledging God's control over their lives. Doesn't it feel better when we realize that it is not our job to have supreme control and power over our lives? (Who thinks they are good at that, anyway?)

At the end of church, we took communion. This is where I repent for things sins I have committed knowingly and unknowingly. Every time I take communion, I find myself asking God to forgive me for trying to be in control of my own life. I have worked so hard to feel like I have everything mapped out so it will "work out." The truth of the matter is I have made all my own plans and left no room for reliance on Him. How can I increase my faith when I don't lean on Him? How can I rest in Him when I am so busy making my own plans? Do I want to settle for my sub par plans, or lay down my religious tendencies and enjoy the plans that God has for me?

It is such an exciting time for us right now. We are feeling the pull between where we were in the past and where God is calling us in the future. I want to follow Him with more abandon, commitment, and joy than I ever have. I want to completely destroy my contrived plans for my life and allow myself to dream with God again. How will I ever live this life for Jesus if I am living in fear... fear of man... fear of failing... fear of imperfection? Undoubtedly, someone will disapprove. I will fail time and time again. And I will never achieve perfection as long as my heart beats and my feet walk this earth! I am ready to live differently. It will be scary-- and it will be different, but here I go...