My Soul Glorifies

I'm sad I haven't written more lately. But I am not sad that I spent the last few weeks memorizing over 96 names of wee ones. I am not sad that life feels full and my heart feels grateful for the intricate way God has pieced my life together. I am reminding myself that in times of busyness, the little things done unto the Lord are the big things that make up our life. Tonight my husband thanked me for baking for church -- and I remembered how blessed I am to be able to love people through homemade baked goods. I am also able to pray over 3 year-old's when they are having rough days. I can thank God while I help them jump from play structures into the sand. I can sing worship songs when I am in the car during my 14-hours away from home days. I can absorb the beauty of where we live when I am training for a 5K (and the eventual half marathon) with my husband. All of these little things make me so happy that I could burst. Jesus is always good, and I should always remember to thank Him.

Decision

I started to think about something I used to identify with: indecision. What makes someone indecisive? For me, it was rocky relationships, constantly changing career goals, inconsistent emotions, lack of commitment, and reoccurring bouts of overall dissatisfaction. Even my short hair cuts displayed my indecision. (I must have been pretty fun, right?) I no longer identify with indecision. Today I thought to myself, What changed?

I found hope that I could change. There is something about hope that is contagious. It spreads to all other areas of life. (Hope is from God; anything else that is called hope is simply masquerading as hope.) When we believe in Jesus, He gives us His strength and changes our lives. Looking back, I have no idea what I did... because I didn't really do anything. It was all God. My heart is different now. My eyes are set on Him. I am far from perfect; but looking to Him for my identity and my path is what made me more decisive.

Multiple areas of my life are starting to show this change. I love Luke without holding back. I am working my dream job- spending my days with the little ones. I am moving towards completing my degree. But more than any of these things, I no longer look inward for my identity. My hope is in Jesus. He sets my footing. He holds my future in His hands.